aiks!!

Meh, i know its been awhile since i last blogged.

I'm upset. My most current ex is mad with me and i don't know what to do. I won't go into this as it's still recent.

The ex before that is indifferent. We shall call this one ex2.

Basically after we(ex2) broke up i told her i had cheated on her. This was not true =(. I don't know why i did it really but looking back i guess i wanted to hurt her. Meh. I just called and told her that i had lied. This was quite important to me as i felt i was finally doing something right. And she just says, "It's not important and it doesn't matter." I mean seriously. I understand i screwed up and everything but shit people give me a break, i decide to do the right thing and i feel belittled. Meh. Ciggie time. Best friend who will never leave me.

Feeling too upset to blog. It's been shit these last few months. Trying to fix everything but it's all screwy. Cheers people. I'll blog when i'm feeling better.

Wow, breaking up always hurts.

Meh,

It's been forever since my last post and i guess the main reason was the purpose of this blog was lost. I broke up with my gf today. Her name is Fiona Wu. We've been going out since the 7th of December 2007. She's fun and amazingly funny. And impatient and intolerant of a lot of things around her. She's ... wonderful.

But all thats over now. I guess she just lost interest and decided to walk away. An excuse being better to break up now than to wait until i fly over and waste all that glorious money. It's so amazing how much money is held in regard to her. I know it's important but i guess i feel that one can always make more money, even if it involves scrambling around in the muck looking for something valuable.

I miss her. I haven't slept and I tried gaming the damn day away but i guess it's not really working. It's like even while gaming i've been having a bad day. Meh.

To Fiona.

I love you. I still do. I don't care what you think I am or what you think I'm thinking i can safely say that i want you back. Everyone tells me i'm better off without you. I KNOW they are wrong beyond any comparison. They are so wrong because somehow i just know that you're important. You're important enough to get me upset over something that shouldn't bother an asshole like me. I don't know. I hope you have a wonderful life with some lucky someone. muacks.

I love you. But it doesn't mean anything anymore. Just another 8 symbols on a screen.

=(

Clear skies.

Zach

6 Months already!!!

Omg.

6 months.

It's been a uber roller coaster ride with enough fights to fill a million relationships =). But guess what we're still here. Its pretty amazing how she's been so accepting of me and my rather laid back ways. I got her something but i won't tell her what it is =) Hopefully i'll manage to pass the stuff to her mum when she comes over in a week or so. Anyways here's a little history.

We got together back in December after roughly 3 months of random behaviour. I wasn't sure if i was interested and she thought i was playing and somehow a lot of weird things happened which I would mention except that she'd tear my head off=) Don't worry dear, i won't say anything. I used to work in this place called Settler's Cafe which has since closed down and turned into The Mage. It's a place where you can go in, eat and play luxury designer boardgames. Anyways, she was a random customer who walked in one day and my first impression of her was ah lien/weird. =) I was obviously very wrong. Or maybe i secretly like ah lien girls hmmmm.

Well, we(the staff) invited her out for drinks and everything and we ended up taking her to a gay bar. Yes guys, a gay bar called Liquid. For those of you who don't know where it is, it's located just behind Central Market. Literally facing the back wall. Well, i discovered she could drink tons and then get terriby drunk while pretending she was still okies. =) Sigh* another portion which i cannot mention as under threat of death.

Meh Where was I again? I seem to have forgotten my point. hmmmm. Well that's that.

Waking up without you by myside has made me realise how incomplete I am. I miss you day in and out and sometimes I reach out and wonder, where you are and what you're doing. When I'm relaxed and not doing anything it seems kind of wrong not having you to boss me around and take me to weird food places. =(

Here's to 6 months dear =)
Cheers,

To Us and the future, may it bring more exciting things and experiences as we learn about ourselves.

I Love you Fiona

Zachary.

May we always have Clear Skies.

Clear Skies

Hee, its been more than a week since i last posted and I'm beginning to wonder how people find so many things to write about in their daily lives, do they post every single thought that comes into their mind? Have you seen some of these people's blogs? They seem to be able to cram a weeks worth of experience into a single day, you'd think they either 1. made it up. 2. Spend time looking for material for their blog.

Its the 6th today and tomorrow will be my 6th month-iversary with my darling Fiona Wu. It's been an amazing 6 months already and i can't believe we've actually gotten this far even though we're 11ty million miles apart(It's australia for your info and no its not really 11 million miles away, try the moon).

Today's blog is on why my titled my blog clear skies, it occured to me to actually try and explain the image in my mind when i thought of the word. What prompted this post is my little sis who went, "What kind of lame line is that? 'Clear Skies' pfffft." A number of people have already asked me about this but i just have to explain myself to the sis. Yes her opinion matters.

I believe when i was a young kid i saw a movie which i can't for the life of me remember, probably something to do with planes/war/mylittlepony(i had no choice it was on the cartoon channel.) And just before a plane/spaceship/pony(=Þ) would take off, someone would tell the pilot/pony(ok ok i'm done) "Clear Skies." Now, I believe that clear skies would most possibly mean, 'Hope you don't get screwed by bad weather/bad guy with evil laugh in badass plane or even a simple, safe trip.' In a way, when i say it, I hope no matter where you go you'll have a great view and a great journey with lots of fun, after all flying is fun =). There is also somehow the expectation that, maybe wherever you're going is better than where i am and you're not going to come back. I hope i've managed to convey a little something of what my mind sees as you read this.

On another note, dear, all the best for your exams tomorrow and I hope that you'll have all the answers in your mind when you need them. And even if you don't the Invigilator will be looking the other way when you lean over to read someone elses paper =Þ. Hmmm might as well have a shirt prayer while we're at it. Technically I'm not christian anymore as i don't practice a lot of the things i should. I do believe however. I do.

I pray that no matter what happens for the paper tomorrow, that you'll be clearminded and focused when you sit down for the paper. I hope that when you put pen to paper the answers will flow from your hand onto paper and that everything you write will be the truth as we know it. Good luck dear. I love you. Amen.

Alright peeps, thats all for now. Have a class to go to and everything =) Until next time.

Clear Skies

Zach

A World Without Limits

I'm lying on my bed typing this blog and my darling is in the same room. Well not physically but i can see and hear her even though she's several thousand miles away(I'd get technical and check it out on the web but I'm too lazy =). It's amazing how the web has changed over the years from something that was suppose to be a scientific/military network to what it is today; a uncountable webwork of home computers and server clusters that never really sleep.

For those of you who are currently having a LDR(Long Distance Relationship you noob!!) i highly recommend using a program called Skype. You can find it at www.skype.com . Go in download the latest version and make sure your darling has Skype as well. Enter each other's Skype accounts and you can talk to each other for HOURS for well, virtually free!! Plus the video and voice plug ins work a lot better than MSN messenger. File transfer is a bit slow though so you may want to stick with mailing a file or using MSN to just transfer it.

I don't know about you but i think that its pretty damn amazing just sitting here and watching my darling study. I guess for you people who have been on the bogger/online scene longer than I have find it normal or something but it's pretty darn amazing for me. bah. =)

Hmph... I'm on holiday now and i realise that there isn't really anything to do on the Holidays. Seriously, a week long holiday is just right for relaxing but longer than that and you just don't have anything to do really. If any of you peeps can recommend something to do I'd be really grateful to you. It should not cost me billions of bucks and I shouldn't have to drive for 2 hours to get it. Plus plus i realised having friends who are gamers does not add to the "variety" of fun element.

Hmmm, i've got soooo many things to write about right now but i guess i'm Lazy =)

Cheers people,

Clear skies.

Zach.

P.S I love you dear

Ooooo Below the belt.

I'm here right now trying to find out what happened to me. I think something's wrong. 20 minutes ago, my Ex deleted all my testomonials to her. Now its been over a year already and you'd think everything would be okies right? Wrong, my god it hit me like a SLEDGEHAMMER to the chest. My heart actually physically hurt. And i got so upset it was unbelieavable. There is no bloody rational explaination as far as i am concerned. It just hurts damnit and I wish it would stop. Maybe she needed closure or some other random thing or whatever those people who deal with relationships say. I don't know, it just seems wrong somehow. Why did she want to wipe out an old memory? Was it because we weren't worth remembering? Was it because i was an embarrassment? Why?

Is this my ego talking? sigh* my mind is everywhere, sigh* so confused.

I don't know whats wrong. Don't really know.

I'm so tired really, i just wish i could curl into a ball and when i wake up, i won't have a past any longer and i won't remember a thing except who i was right then. Then again they say pain is your only identity and i believe its the only thing that defines life. Ugh* if this post sounds confusing it's because i'm rambling.

It hurts when it shouldn't.

It stops now.

Cheers,

Zach


ADD ON. 30th MAY: I realised at the end of the day I think i got upset because in a way its a form a rejection and if it hadn't been a person important to me it wouldn't have mattered. I spoke to my mum about this(thank God for mum's they seem to know what's best or what's wrong =) ) as well as my darling (not as understanding but not too bad either) and i guess it's not really an issue anymore. So problem solved people =)

Clear Skies.

My First post.

Woot!! For now this will be my official Blog until i figure out if i want to let my old blog go public. Until then you can chek me out here. I'll be adding photo's and other smelly personal details here at a later date so you can look back in a bit.

Meh, It took me 2 days to familiarise myself with blogspots new google system. Everytime i wanted to log in i got cheeseballed into, "I'm sorry invalid password." I mean seriously, turns out they wanted me to enter my e-mail address. Hello people, why not just say, "Enter your e-mail here." instead? bah.

But enough about that, i'm in and thats it. =)

I'll be back to post later but do take the time to check out www.EvE-online.com which is the most spectacular online game i have played. Yes blasphemy to all the WoW addicts out there =) there ARE other MMO's besides WoW and this one is BIGGER and BETTER.

Oh and dear, =) i promise i'll set up everything so you don't look bad, and it doesn't look like you're controlling me or anything kk? Muacks*

Later Peeps,
Zach